Our Wedding

"Our Wedding"
Season 3, Episode 22 (37)
Airdate	May 11, 1992
Writer(s)	Diane Frolov Andrew Schneider
Director	Nick Marck
Guest star(s)
Valerie Mahaffey as Eve Richard Cummings Jr. as Bernard Stevens Diane Delano as Officer Barbara Semanski Adam Arkin as Adam Ralph P. Martin as Ivory Springer William J. White as Dave the Cook
←   Episode sequence   →
"It Happened in Juneau"	"Cicely"

Summary

The wedding of Adam and Eve creates a union of disparate elements and reveals a secret about the bride. Adam's bachelor party at The Brick finds the guys guzzling and puzzling over the gulf between men and women. Joel and Maggie make an effort to finish what they started in Juneau.

Plot

While Joel is in his office reading, Adam and Eve suddenly show up and ask to have blood tests taken. When Joel asks why, Adam tells him that they need the tests to get married. Joel is confused, thinking that they are already married, but Adam explains that their marriage was merely wishful thinking on his part, and now she has finally consented to be his bride because Eve is 6 months pregnant and they have a child on the way.

Chris once again finds that his brother Bernard has come to visit, except this time he is passing through on his way to Russia, by way of ferry across the Bering Strait. The two go over to The Brick, where Joel is just arriving. He sits near Maggie, who greets him nervously before excusing herself and leaving in a hurry. Joel is confused by her attitude, and talks to Marilyn who is busily making origami cranes for the wedding. After a long discussion, Shelly convinces Eve to let her be the maid of honor at the wedding.

Later that day, Eve catches up to Joel on the street, where he tells her that the blood tests have come out fine. She is not satisfied and asks Joel to run more tests. Just then, Maggie walks around the corner and stops in her tracks when she sees Joel. She smiles, says hi, and quickly leaves again. Eve chastises Joel for sleeping with her, an event which she heard of from Adam. Joel tries to convince Eve that he didn't actually sleep with Maggie, but Eve won't listen.

Seriously bothered by Maggie's attitude, Joel shows up to her door that night, where he has to practically force his way in. Joel asks her what is wrong, but Maggie insists that nothing is going on, although she is clearly uncomfortable around Joel. Joel sits next to her, but she immediately jumps up and moves to another chair. Finally, Joel tells her that they never slept together. At first, Maggie is disbelieving, but finally she is enraged, and begins throwing things at him as he runs from the cabin.

The next day, Adam and Eve meet Chris at the church to discuss the format for the wedding. In the middle of the discussion, Eve feels sharp pains, like she is going into premature labor. At The Brick, Shelly gushes to Holling over bridal shower preparations and about the importance of a wedding in a woman's life, unknowingly causing Holling to feel guilty and his neck to tighten up.

At Joel's office, Eve is ready to call off the wedding, but Joel reassures her that it is not premature labor that she is experiencing. For whatever reason, Eve obviously wants to get out of the wedding.

On Maurice's property, Officer Barbara Semanski delivers Maurice a formal complaint from the neighbor of a large piece of land he owns. The neighbor charges that when Maurice had his land excavated the explosion caused flying debris to hit and wound his grazing animals. The legal matter is quickly forgotten, but the chemistry between Semanski and Maurice remains apparent.

Joel is shopping at Ruth-Anne's store later that day when Maggie walks in. Joel tries to talk to her, and even apologizes, but she ignores him completely. After repeated apologies, she finally asks Joel why he didn't sleep with her. This response takes Joel completely by surprise and he explains that she fell asleep. Maggie is bothered by the fact that she didn't arouse enough passion in him to make him wake her up, but Joel explains that he also has self-control. Maggie is offended that she inspires self-control in men and storms off, leaving Joel in a wake of confusion.

That night at Adam's bachelor party, Adam gives some military advice to Ed. Joel complains to Maurice about women while, at the bridal shower, Maggie does the same with Ruth-Anne about men. Maggie explains to Ruth-Anne that she had this incredibly erotic fantasy worked out involving Joel, and had a sort of guilty pleasure when thinking about them actually having sex. Her anger comes from the fact that the pleasure never actually transpired. Ruth-Anne tells her that, if she's going to feel the guilt, she might as well experience the pleasure. Maggie suddenly brightens as she realizes what she must do.

Maggie shows up to Joel's cabin, and tells him that they should finish what they started in Juneau. By now, Joel is completely confused but accepts her affections as real and says that he is glad she showed up. They begin kissing and Maggie asks Joel if he would let anything stand in his way of having her. He tells her that nothing could possibly stop him, not earthquakes, floods, or tidal waves. Suddenly, Maggie smiles happily and realizes that she finally got Joel to really want her. Satisfied with this, she tells Joel that she no longer needs the actual sex part. Joel begins insisting, but Maggie stops him by thanking him for making her so happy and leaves while Joel sits on his couch with a blank stare on his face.

The next day, everyone in town shows up for the wedding. Chris is in front of the congregation, Adam is waiting with him, and Eve, Shelly, Maggie, Marilyn, and Ruth-Anne are in the back making last-minute adjustments to their bridesmaid outfits. Shelly offers some words of encouragement and, as the ceremony begins, and the other women walking up the aisle, Eve hesitates several times before starting down the aisle. However, she stops halfway and tells Adam that she can't marry him because she's an heiress and afraid that he will get all of her money. After a heated discussion between her and Adam, he is about at his wit's end, when Bernard stops forward and offers to help.

Bernard and Joel meet with Adam and Eve in a back room and Bernard prepares a standard prenuptial agreement. When they find out that Eve's net worth is $22 million, they realize that the negotiations will take a while. While all this is going on, Maggie approaches Joel who is sitting alone outside. At Maggie's approach, Joel tells her not to start and says that he gives up and she wins. Maggie is confused by his response. Joel tells her that whatever game they've been playing, Maggie is clearly the victor and thinks that they should just draw a line in the sand and agree to stay on opposite sides of it. Maggie appears disappointed at this but Joel reaffirms his seriousness. She finally tells Joel regretfully that she thinks he is a great kisser and smiles at him. In that one instant, where Joel smiles, and considers the possibility once again, it is obvious that he has gotten drawn in by Maggie once again. Just then, Ed comes out and announces that the wedding will recommence.

The wedding ceremony completes without a problem. As Adam and Eve leave the church, Eve throws the bouquet over her shoulder. It falls in the middle of a crowd of people, and as they step away, the bouquet is still lying on the ground. Everyone looks at it in horror and quickly walk away.

Quotes

Chris: Marriage. It's a hard term to define. Especially for me; I've ducked it like root canal. Still, there's no denying the fact that marriage ranks right up there with birth and death as one of the three biggies in the human safari. It's the only one, though, that we'll celebrate with a conscious awareness. Very few of you remember your arrival, and even fewer of you will attend your own funeral. You pick a society, any society: Zuni, Ndembo, Pennsylvania Dutch. What's the one thing they all have in common? Marriage. It's like a cultural handrail. It links folks to the past and guides them to the future. That's not all, though. Marriage is the union of disparate elements. Male and female. Yin and yang. Proton and electron. What are we talking about here? Nothing less than the very tension that binds the universe. You see, when we look at marriage, people, we're are looking at creation itself. "I am the sky," says the Hindu bridegroom to the bride. "You are the earth. We are sky and earth united." (to Adam) You are my husband. (to Eve) You are my wife. My feet shall run because of you. My feet shall dance because of you. My heart shall beat because of you. My eyes see because of you. My mind think because of you, and I shall love because of you. Now, are you guys cool with that? (they nod happily) Then kiss!

Music

• "The Solar Sex Panel" by Little Village
• "She Took It Like a Man" by Confederate Railroad
• "Jelly's Blues" by Keith Nichols
• "River of Tears" by Bonnie Raitt
• "Poor Butterfly" by Benny Goodman
• "The Four Seasons: Spring" by Vivaldi
• "There'll Be Some Changes Made" by Benny Goodman
• "The Four Seasons: Winter" by Vivaldi
• "I Surrender, Dear" by Benny Goodman
• "The Four Seasons: Autumn" by Vivaldi

Trivia

• According to Eve, Adam's never held a job for more than 2 weeks.
• Bernard, on his way to Novosibirsk, Russia where they're opening a stock exchange and need a CPA, shows up in a new Jeep Cherokee.
• Joel subscribes to Wine Spectator.
• Eve is a reformed Christian Scientist.
• Adam is a Quaker.
• Adam and Even have been living together for 12 years.
• Eve's net worth is $22 million.
• Eve's father mines tungsten ore.
• 1000 origami cranes bring good luck.
• Maurice owns a 65-acre tract of land, parcel number 436 of the Borough of Arrowhead.
• Adam gives Holling's neck and matrimonial conscience a chiropractic adjustment.
• Maurice and Joel smoke cigars.
• Bernard has never been married.
• Maggie's living room looks a lot like her old one.
• Shelly's earrings: leaves or bunches of grapes (Shelly asks Eve at The Brick if she can be bridesmaid), white bunnies (bridal shower), pearl drops (wedding)
• Literature: "The Owl and the Pussy Cat by Edward Lear, "Eskimo Love Song" by ? (in the wedding vows)
• Ivory Springer is a neighbor of Maurice.

External links

• How To Make a Paper Crane Origami